He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
