dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
