If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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