I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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