You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
