I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
