i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
