Non-Jews are for practice
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
