We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
