is your mom at the bar?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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