So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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