she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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