Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
