Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
