I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
