sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
