I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize