I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
