please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
