Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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