At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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