I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize