Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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