After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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