can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
