if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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