i need an iv and a liver transplant
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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