What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
