The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
