Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize