Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
