i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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