I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
organizing the empties. That sober.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
