is your mom at the bar?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
