he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
