we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
