i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
