he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
