i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
