We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize