these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
