If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
