you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
