just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize