My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
