My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
