My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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