4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
