OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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