WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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