is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Randomize
