Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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