I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
