batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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