You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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