Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
