If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
