I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
