whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize