is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
