i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
