i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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