I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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