how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
