the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
