I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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