I accidentally burped into my bong.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
