Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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