Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
