I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You ate ashes out of my bong
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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