I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
