no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
