Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize