remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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