I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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