Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
