i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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