Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize