if you like me you must not know who I am
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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